Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
