All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize