She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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