I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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