Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
