I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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