handjob tips. give me some.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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