the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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