Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
