Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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