u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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