I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
