I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
