Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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