pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
