Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
