nut hugger
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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