ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
