I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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