4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
