You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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