So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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