I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
