yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
