Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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