talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
