do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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