white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
