I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
