I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
that is very illegal...i love you.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
