ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
