I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
