A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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