we should wear snuggies to the strip club
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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