Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
