She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
