Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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