And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
