IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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