My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
