She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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