i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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