Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
