Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
