i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
