It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
