just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
