do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
