Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
