we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
